Today’s challenge was to avoid fighting/arguing in front of your children no matter what.
While I do think it’s best to keep the bickering to a minimum in front of your children, I also think it’s important that they know their parents have the ability to say their piece, be mad at each other, and resolve the issue without there being a big to do. I’m a prime example of why you shouldn’t hide all of your bickering.
Hubs and I came from two different sides of the spectrum. While he saw his parents fight all the time and watched their marriage crash and burn, I’ve witnessed one fight between my parents that I can remember. This was one of those “fight to end all fights” where the stars aligned perfectly to create this ridiculous turn of events which ended with my dad completely pissed and my mom telling my sister and I to pack up our stuff because we were going to grandma’s.
Without trying to sound like I’m writing the tell all novel of my horrible awful no good very bad life; I wonder sometimes if that event and the fact that I rarely (if ever) witnessed my parents do anything more than a quick snipe here and there has caused me to think of fights as such a catastrophy. I have had to work so hard on myself to really realize that a disagreement in which both sides are passionate is not grounds for divorce. It sounds so silly, especially since nothing came of it and my parents are still ridiculously in love, but it’s a real issue that I’ve had to work on.
We didn’t fight at all today, but I’m not sure if it would have mattered. Any issues we come across that we each feel strongly about or any discussion that has the probability to get heated is tabled until the kids are asleep that night. We find this helpful anyway because most of the time it takes a little bit of the fire out of us so that we can discuss things more calmly. I did, however, resolve to not undermine or demean Hubs today (I have a bad habit of trying to take charge in situations where he’s attempting to be the disciplinarian). I think he appreciated that.
Feel like joining in on the challenge? It’s not too late! We’re on hiatus for a few days while Amy takes on Blissdom!
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It’s interesting the things you remember about your parents’ marriage. My friend says she can’t remember her parents ever fighting in front of her, while my parents fought/fight in front of us all the time. I never thought it was a bad thing, it more so modeled what relationships go through to stay healthy. Working on how we fight is an issue, though. I could take a page from your book in not undermining my husband (though, for the record, he usually has no idea how things should be done…)